Mental Health and the Holidays
Hello, again! The holidays can be a time filled with joy, grief, love, stress, and a slew of other emotions. For many, it’s something to look forward to when the weather gets cold and family visits are scheduled. For others, there is a spike in anxiety and depression related to seeing family members who perhaps have hurt you in the past. For those grieving, the holidays can be an especially difficult time of year, when thinking back on past holidays when your loved one was with you. If you find that you fall into the latter category, I have some tips to keep in mind as we approach this busy time of year.
Do your best to not over-schedule yourself. Running around from one holiday event to another may be required for some of you, though it could be an option to celebrate with family on a day that the holiday doesn’t typically fall on (the day after Christmas, only seeing family on one day of Hanukkah). Perhaps it is appropriate to skip your employer’s holiday party in order to take some time away.
Take a walk outside. Getting away from all the bustle could be as easy as taking a brief walk by yourself or with an ally in the family. Know of someone else who is overwhelmed by the chaos? Ask them to join you in a quiet walk! Or, a pet dog is always a good excuse to step away for a few minutes.
Have a schedule going into your family event. Being up front with family and friends about what time you need to leave by (or need them to leave by) can help everyone plan accordingly. And, it avoids family feeling like they are rushed out at the end of the event when they knew what time it ended before they even showed up.
Set boundaries around what is off-limits to talk about. Many families are notorious for bringing up difficult subjects with others at the holidays without understanding the impact of their words. This time can be especially difficult for those with eating disorders, romantic relationship trauma, infertility issues, and seasonal affective disorder, to name a few. Family members commenting about your weight when you are in recovery from an eating disorder is common, and something that can cause rumination on your body image. Try saying something like “I would rather not talk about how I look, but I would love to hear how work has been going for you.”
Ask for help. Around this time of year, ask friends and trusted family members for extra support. Maybe you have a code word with a sibling who understands what’s going on for you. Try having a group chat going with friends where you can vent and ask for support. Utilize your coping skills when you begin to feel overwhelmed.
Be gentle with yourself. At the end of the day, remind yourself that you’re doing your best and sometimes that won’t be appreciated by everyone around you. What matters is you are making yourself as comfortable as possible while enjoying time with your loved ones, whatever category those people fall into (family, friends, coworkers, etc.)
What else would you add to this list? Let me know below! And, if this triggered something for you, please reach out and let’s continue the conversation about boundaries with family and friends.
Happy Holidays!
Meagan
Disclaimer: This blog is for informational and educational purposes, and is not to be used as a substitute for a therapeutic relationship, individualized mental healthcare, or medical healthcare.