Terminating Counseling
A big part of the counseling process is what us professionals call termination, which means the counseling relationship is ending. I have done a lot of thinking about this process over the last several months, as I ended up leaving my first job post-grad after lots of thoughtful consideration.
For me, termination both in counseling and in real life has always caused me some anxiety. Leaving what is now comfortable, breaking up my routine, putting my energy elsewhere, and losing relationships are all things that come to mind when thinking about that process. For me, these thoughts are generally negative. To sum it up, termination makes me nervous. It innately feels like a risk, which is scary!
When deciding to leave my job, I knew there would be several different types of termination involved. Whether it was terminating with the job itself, with my employer, and with some clients, it felt like a lot to manage all at once. The reality is, I had to focus on what I needed. I think phrasing it as termination can feel really permanent, but in reality, I know that if I wanted to go back to that job, I could talk with my employer and likely work something out. I also know that if I didn’t take this risk (i.e. jumping into my own business head first and cutting down on my hours), I would regret it. I saw a quote last week that said “you only fail if you don’t try again” (please drop credit below if you know who said that!) and it really resonated with me. I’m no quitter, however I am all too familiar with setbacks. I had to push myself to practice what I preach: bet on yourself and give yourself a chance to be successful.
When thinking about this from a client’s perspective, here’s my thought process: terminating with your counselor can bring up a lot of feelings, especially if your counselor is the one who brought it up before you did. Maybe you feel blindsided. Maybe you feel completely unprepared to walk through life without your therapist. Maybe you have been waiting for them to bring this up for some time, and you weren’t sure how to do it yourself. No matter your reaction, I have three thoughts to share:
1. Share your reactions about termination with your therapist! We are here to help you through this, and we’re likely sad about the idea of terminating, too.
2. Give yourself a chance to succeed. If your therapist is bringing up termination, it’s likely because they’ve seen incredible growth in you, and have faith you can manage with your outside supports.
3. If after terminating you are struggling, go back to therapy!!!! I cannot stress this enough. Termination does not have to be permanent or forever. Many people pop in and out of therapy their whole life, depending on what’s going on for them. And, if you’re not ready to terminate when your therapist brings it up, tell them. Chances are, there’s more work to be done if that brings up intolerable anxiety for you.
Happy holidays to all! And here’s to 2020 being nearly over, am I right?
Meagan
Disclaimer: This blog is for informational and educational purposes, and is not to be used as a substitute for a therapeutic relationship, individualized mental healthcare, or medical healthcare.